Fun with Jane & Dick

The next morning after we finally arrived in Gotham City, I woke up feeling tons better. I’m still a little tired but I’m finally able to get out of bed! Time to clean!!

And although we had planned on staying at the unit that we’re cleaning up, we ended up deciding to stay at our studio cause the electricity wasn’t connected the first night and since we had already unloaded all our crap at the studio, I didn’t want to move it again.

Remember, this studio condo is a small 500sf studio that Dick uses as his office in Gotham City. I actually love staying here with our family because it’s really cozy and we’re forced to be in each other’s faces. Good thing I like my family.

And when it comes to finding a place to sleep, we just camp out wherever…hence why we need to bring so many blankets and pillows.

 CLEANING THE TOWN HOUSE

Our tenant moved out  of our townhouse so you know the drill. Time for the cleaning crew (us) to come in and clean the place. If you’ve been a fan of Jane and Dick’s for a while, you would recognize our townhouse from  one of my first blogs.

The townhouse was in decent condition and compared to some of the tenants we’ve had, the previous tenants left it fairly clean but the carpet was heavily stained.

And because it’s so dirty, I don’t want the baby crawling around in this nastiness. So, what to do? Well, there’s a storage closet that is pretty clean and obviously, people don’t really walk on the carpet in there that much so I make the kids all stay in there while I vacuum.

Ok, so we don’t really lock them in there but they were not allowed to come out!

Look at sweet Thelma…she LOVES to read.

We’ve got our cleaning supplies.

The gloves go on and it’s time to work!

First is VACUUM!!

Stairs are such a bitch to vacuum.

I guess after lugging the vacuum down the stairs, I must have gotten hot and taken off the sweatshirt.

Honestly, we could hire someone to come and do all this dirty work but I look at it as nurturing and caring for my investment. No one cares about our investment more than we do…not the tenant, not the cleaners or painters.

If we do the work ourselves, we know what’s going on with each property and what it needs. I just blast the music, get to work, and put my good energy and love into the house. Plus, it’s how I get my exercise. I also like that the kids get to see what we do first hand and because really, this all goes to them and one day, they’re going to have to take it over.

Cheetos breaks are expected.

While I’m doing all that, Dick is shampooing the carpets. Maybe we should open a carpet cleaning business since we’re turning into quite the pros. Umm, no.

To avoid having the look after the baby, the kids will volunteer to help.

Meanwhile, I go hang with Benz for a sec. He’s eating these organic apple puffs that he loves.

So cute to watch how he grabs them with his little, chubby fingers.

Dick sees me taking a break and comes over too.

Just because I deserve a break doesn’t mean you do too!

Finally, Benz falls asleep and I can get back to work.

Dick’s showing Louise how to hand-scrubb some of the stains out.

Another break after Dick finished the upstairs.

And, another sleeping place for Benz. Carpet on the stairs is clean now!

Dick finishes the carpet and it looks great!!

DICK: AIR FILTER NINJA

Dick always changes the air filters for our properties because they’re always so hard to reach. Dick says to me,

“Look at how how I have to do ninja-like moves and risk my life to do these things. You’re lucky to have me.”

Me: Eyes roll.

“See how I have to hold the filter with my teeth.”

“Then climb onto the rail…”

“Balance all the while trying to install the filter with one hand…”

“You’re so lucky I’m so talented.”

OMG, seriously? I’m clapping, is that enough praise for you?

Later, I look over at my multi-talented man and he’s got his feet in the sink.

I’m cracking up because he looks so funny with his feet up there.

He jokes that I can’t even lift my leg up there. Whatever! See my black boot on the counter? I studied ballet for a few years you know! And my black boots is why I don’t have to stick my feet in the sink. I can’t believe he went barefoot on that nasty carpet.

The next day we’re back and it’s time to paint.

I tell the girls they can run around upstairs with Benz now that the carpet is clean and dry.

For the most part, Benz is really good and loves to play with his sisters.

Except, whenever he sees me, he wants boobie!

Such a man he is.

So here I am boobie-ing my little man on the stairs whilst taking a break from painting. It’s so much harder to get stuff done with a baby around.

While I’m doing that, the girls are having a blast sliding down the stairs on their stomachs, like when they were toddlers.

As soon as they’re done, like the slave driver that I am, I tell them fun’s over and they have to help me wipe down the blinds.

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With our asses dragging big time due to being plagued with this stomach virus, we’re trying to pack up all the crap we need to go to Gotham City. There’s always so much stuff but now that we have the baby, there’s SO much more…and baby’s stuff is always so damn big and bulky. That’s why all the Mommies are rollin’ around in minivans and SUVs. Ain’t nothing else fit all that shit.

The girls are trying their best to be patient despite being so excited but they see how much pain their parents are in. They’re trying to be helpful so that we can hit the road that much faster. Dick is saying to me, “Our girls are so lucky. If it weren’t for them and we didn’t love them so much, we would never try to kill ourselves like this to leave today.”

True dat. I really just wanted to jumpcrawl right back in bed so I could regain my energy. I was drained to the max.

Originally, we had planned on taking two cars because aside from taking care of one of our properties, Dick had to transport a vehicle for our car business. (And actually, we’re not only taking care of our rental, our car business, but Dick also has to take care of the Lounge.) But with us being plagued with the stomach virus, we quickly decided that we would take one car. Phew!

I was relieved because ain’t NO WAY I would have been able to drive 4 hours and what if the baby started crying? Not to mention, the car that I had to drive was the Conversion Van! And you know how much I hate being the bus driver of that car. But because we still had it, the girls absolutely want to take it and actually, we had no choice.

I can’t believe we packed the van full of so much shit. A minivan would NOT have cut it!

The girls have laid the rear bench down and made it into a bed. Perfect. I plan on wallowing in my pain back here.

I then spent the next 4 hours in the back, sleeping, cuddled with Benz and the girls. Somehow, we squeezed and fit.

Half-way there and we make a stop because the girls were hungry. Me? Food? Ughhh! No!!! So, I stayed in the car. I was still so slow and exhausted.

However, I did muster some energy to go the restroom. Happy Camper right?

Dick is not feeling too hot either but he’s being strong so that he can get us there. Thank you honey! I know it was hard!

It’s dark by the time we arrive and I could care less. I just want to crawl into bed anyway.

-Jane, Dead. Tired.

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Ok so it’s been a while and last time I blogged, we were cleaning our rugs. Let me tell you that we “finished” because around 2am, not because I was tired but…I was feeling queezy in the stomach. Because I could not capture any pictures, this post will be illustrated with a few visuals for you.

I blew off my stomach pains as indigestion and an evil retribution for having eaten too much for dinner. So, I went straight to bed. A couple hours later, I woke feeling just awful, ran to the bathroom, puked, and projected some nasty-ass-acid-bile-sour-tasting shit like a fire hydrant into the sink bowl. It was terrible but knew that it would be better to just get it out.

For the next few hours, there were then bouts with THE RUNS. Fabulous. It’s really weird when you feel like your pissing out of your ass.

Man, I’m being super descriptive today…TMI? Sorry. I was in a bad place and I want you to feel my pain! All this happened at my parent’s house because we went to sleep there since Benz was already there. Dick stayed back to finish up the vacuuming (thank you honey!) and then went to bed.

What really sucked about the whole thing besides puking and having the runs, is that we had to still pack up and drive to Gotham City. Now imagine how drained you would be after a night of puking and the runs? There was absolutely no energy left in me and I was still feeling nauseous. I was seriously moving at a snail’s pace.

The girls were so excited to go hit the road again so we had originally  planned on waking up early, packing and hitting the road in the morning. I didn’t even wake up until around 11. I went home, woke up Dick and told him about my horrible night. Hs response?

“I think I have the same thing. I’ve got the runs too. I wanted to puke but I didn’t. I held it back.”

Ooohhhh, mistake. Always puke if you feeel it, otherwise it’ll stay in your system and you’ll REGRET it! Well, Dick learned the hard way.

I’m trying to think now, what could have inflicted this malice upon us? Was it the food?
Was it the chemicals from the carpet cleaner? I thinking and then I remember. How could I forget that not two days before did Thelma go through a 24-hour stomach bug.

THELMA’S STOMACH PAINS

We didn’t know that it was a stomach bug at the time but Thelma had been complaining of a stomach ache and didn’t want to eat dinner. Odd I thought because she was SO excited about the zucchini/squash lasagna that I had made. Then, she was vomiting and complaining of bad stomach pains. I kept asking her if it was like the times before when she was nauseous? She kept saying yes, so I’m thinking it’s a stomach bug.

Then, she pulls me aside, crying, telling me that she actually lied to me…that the stomach pains were not the same, that they were quite severe and she lied because she didn’t want to have an appendicitis and surgery.

I was concerned because I’ve had my appendix taken out and although my was not life-threatening, if left untreated too long, your appendix could rupture and you could die.

I couldn’t take any chances so it  was off to the emergency room shortly after midnight. This is not our first time here for this. Do you remember the last time we were at the ER for fear of appendicitis?

Poor thing was so scared. She didn’t want to have surgery and have to be put asleep.

“Mommy, I’m scared I won’t wake back up!”

Hearing those words made my heart stop for a second. I didn’t think that would happen but you hear crazy stories all the time. I couldn’t think about that though, I had to be positive and strong for her.

We registered as soon as we got in and Thelma promptly graced their floor with another projection of vomit. Lovely. We were sent to the back to be seen by the doctor. First though, the nurse came in and hooked her up to an IV so that they could start pumping fluids back into her. Then, the doctor comes in, asks Thelma a few questions, and  based on what she told him and after he felt around her stomach asking if this or that hurt, he said:

“You’re probably right that it’s a virus, we’ve seen several cases like this recently. But, we’ll do some tests and make sure.”

Thelma doesn’t want any pictures.

But, look who’s also here for comfort: Monk!!

So, they took her blood and ran some tests. The nurse then tells me the results were that her white blood cell count was higher than usual, but that also could be caused by the virus. They can’t be sure so they want to run a CT scan to see if her appendix is swollen. Wait, what? Another CT scan? That’s a full-body x-ray. We had one the last time I was here. I asked the nurse, “How much radioactivity does a CT put out?”

His response was, “They say it is the equivalent of 100 chest x-rays.”

Um, are you out of your fucking mind??? 100?!?!?!? Look, the doctor just said that you guys have been seeing cases like this, and even though the white blood cell count is slightly higher, it could also be due to the virus. Sorry! No! We’re not doing a CT scan just so your hospital can get paid!

And, by this time, Thelma was looking TONS better since she had that final puke and all the fluids pumped into her.

I politely told him that we did not want a CT scan, that I would observe her at home and if she felt worse the next day, I would bring her back in. The nurse then told me, if I though it was a real emergency that I should bring her to the Children’s Hospital because had she had an appendicitis, they would have sent her down there anyway.

So, you’re telling me that had this been an emergency that I would have wasted what could have been precious time here at the hospital anyway  so that you could do your tests, make your money first, and then still have to transport my daughter to Children’s so I could go through all the testing again? I was appalled. Seriously, I learned a good lesson. Next time there is a real emergency, I’m going straight to the Children’s Hospital!

And what do you know but the next day she woke up feeling nearly back to normal, but a little drained.

Alright, so back to Dick and I…yeah, I’m pretty sure we had incubated the virus for two days and we’re now feeling the effects. Somehow, Louise skirted the whole thing, lucky girl. And Benz? Well, he had been having several more liquidly stools but I thought maybe it was just the food he was eating at the time. Luckily, that was all that happened to him.

Ughh, just love stomach viruses, don’t you? Silver linging though: Free colonic and 5 pounds less!! Gotta try to see the silver lining in everything!

-Jane, Victim of Stomach Virus.

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Now that Benz is mobile, we’ve been wanting to clean the rugs. My mom especially wants to clean her carpets but doesn’t like the shampooing wet method. She wanted to try Oreck’s Orbitor dry cleaning method and since she was already renting it for a day, she let me borrow it so we can clean our rugs too.

The Oreck Orbiter is an alternative to wet steam shampooing your carpets or rugs. It’s a dry cleaning for your carpets but not only that, you can polish your hardwood floors and tile with it as well.

Unfortunately for us, Fanny Mae rented the rug cleaner the day right before we were scheduled to leave for Gotham City, which means I got a shitload of packing to do. However, I was determined to clean our rugs because we might just get lazy and not do it if I don’t take advantage now. Oh well, you gots to do what you gots to do!

First, I vacuum the entire house.

Check out all this crap I sucked up before I even cleaned my rugs!

Next step is to use Oreck’s Soil Release Pre-Spray.

Basically, you spray a mist all over your rug or carpet.

Then, you’re supposed to sprinkle this Dry Carpet Cleaner all over the rug, which sticks to that mist you just sprayed.

A scoop is provided and you just dust it over your rug or carpet.

Here I am looking oh so fab dusting this stuff all over. What do you expect? I’m cleaning! How you like my white socks. Swexy right? There’s Dick laughing that I look like Gru again.

Then you turn on the Orbiter and work it all over the rug. The rotating head polishes the rug and scrubs the powder to clean your rug. We only used to polishing pad versus the scrubbing pad because we have oriental rugs instead of carpets. I didn’t want the scrubbing pad to mess them up!

Let me tell you this thing is heavy and a bitch to keep straight! It’s killing my back!

Once you rub the powder out, you have to let it dry and settle for at least an hour.

Since the dang thing was so heavy, I decided to go whine like a helpless girl to my husband and recruit his strong muscles to aid a maiden in distress. That’s what he’s there for, right?

Even the girls wanted to give it a whirl. It didn’t last long though.

After an hour has passed, you then have to vacuum again to pick up all the dried powder.

We ended up vacuuming like four times because I didn’t want Benz to breath in or eat those powders.

Here’s all the collected powder and looks like, some dust still.

It took several hours and by this time it was 2:00AM (we got started late…around 6pm) and I was exhausted! There was not time to even try to polish the floors! I had to get some rest before waking the next morning to pack so we can drive four hours to Gotham City.

However, the result was still worth it…cleaner, softer and shinier rugs. Plus, you don’t have to wait for your carpet to dry. Thanks Mom for sharing!

We now have a no-shoe policy in the house. This is so hard to do because I always walk around the house with my shoes on and especially when I’m trying on my clothes!! I’m sure my Japanese friends are like, what? You wear shoes in the house? Well, actually, not just the Japanese. Vietnamese people do it too…maybe all the Asians???

-Jane, Carpet Cleaner.

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With Benz being a baby and requiring a lot of attention, we decided the girls too need some alone time with their parents. Until Benz, it was just the four of us for the longest time so Dick and I took the girls out to dinner one Friday night and left Benz home with my parents.  What did the girls want to eat? Sushi! And they wanted to go to this one restaurant we took them to long ago that had more “traditional seating”.

It’s been a while since we had been to this restaurant so we thought we would do a “drive-by” first to see what the parking lot looked like. Don’t tell me you’ve never done that.

If on a Friday night and the lot was empty, we were going to another place. It wasn’t empty so we decided to go in.

Inside, most of the customers appear to all be Japanese. A very good sign.And, the place  looked different than before and I was impressed at how nicely decorated and zen it was!

And here’s the traditional seating I was speaking of. They girls like the low tables that make it seem like you’re sitting on the floor. This is actually a pit where your feet can still go under the table and you don’t have to sit “indian style” (difficult for those who are less flexible.)

Last time we were here, this seating area was closed off and had a screen door around the room, making it very claustrophobic.

Now, instead of the screens, they put up a decorative wall, making it still very private but not cramped. Lovely.

Initially, we had all climbed inside to sit but then remembered that tradition when sitting at these types of Japanese tables, it is customary to remove your shoes as a sign of respect (and cleanliness).

So, off came the shoes.

Dang, I was not prepared. I was wearing boots over my skinny jeans, and had white socks pulled high over them. Luckily, my feet will go in the pit where no one will see them.

That was one thing I always had to remember in Japan…make sure your feet are nicely pedicured and that your socks don’t have holes in them!

Look, they even have Sauteed Beef Tongue Tang. Oops, someone made a typo.

I know for some of you Beef Tongue may sound disgusting (and it looks disgusting when you see it raw and unsliced) but they way the Japanese prepare it, it’s very tasty!

What else to drink but Hot Green Tea and Sake!

The girls love California rolls and salmon!!

Turns out, I know the Sushi Chef here. Back when I was in college, I worked as a server in a Japanese restaurant and he was the Sushi Chef back then. Funny running into him nearly 15 years later.

Dick saw that they had takoyaki (Pronounced “tah-ko-yah-key”), which are Japanese Octopus balls...not the balls of an Octopus but Octopus that has been grounded and blended with flavor, shaped into a ball and breaded, fried and topped with a tasty mayo and sauce. Really yummy!

I love fried calamari legs, called Geso (Pronounced “gay-s0″) so I had to order some.

This is a tofu dish called Agedashi Dofu (Pronounced “Ag-ah-dah-shee D0-fu”) which is fried tofu and served with a tangy sauce.

Those were just some of the things we had. And at the end, similar to how the Chinese give you a treat with your bill (fortune cookie), we got these Japanese Gums. The Japanese really know how to make yummy candy…these were so good!

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Flashback to Flashdance and the days of headbands.

My girls never cease to want to embarrass and torture their little bro.

He works hard for his money!

So hard for it honey!

He works hard for his money so you better treat him right!

Poor thing.

The lighting in this picture is not flattering for Benz’s hair.

Looking like a balding old man!

Good thing he doesn’t understand anything right now.

Wait till he gets older, girls…I’m sure there will be paybacks!

-Jane, Mommy to Head-band Benz.

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We had so much fun painting on New Year’s that I decided to make a match for the first frame.

The girls wanted to paint something else as well.

So as they painted, I made a mate for my frame.

I likes! Now where to put them!

-Jane, Ah-Tiste.

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Benz loves to stand and climb and gets quite the leg workout these days.

 He even goes so far as to stand on this tippy-toes.

This is not ballet!

Check out those swexy muscular calves!

Daddy’s hoping these are soccer calves.

-Jane, Mommy to Muscular Benz.

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I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’m a blogging LOSER these days and APOLOGIES! I can’t seem to find the time or energy to blog these days. (That being said, I’m so appreciative that our loyal Jane and Dick fans still visit our site daily and even read our old stories!)

With Benz being on the move crawling, standing, wobbling…I find I am on HIS schedule and with everything else we always have going on, there’s no time and no energy. Whereas before I could wake up in the middle of the night daily to blog, as you can see, those are few and far between even though I’m blogging right now at 5AM. This is the first time in a while that I’ve had this opportunity.

I tell Dick, “I’m in full-time Mommy-mode so have very low expectations of me.” Much of my time is spent feeding the family, including being a boobie-machine for Benz. Sounds simple but making three meals a day (sometimes) and cleaning up in between is enough to keep me busy ALL DAY and yet have nothing to show for it other than saggy, deflated boobs and an occasionally clean kitchen…oh yeah, and a family that is still alive and well.

And as under appreciated as it is, I have a newfound appreciation for just taking care of, cooking and cleaning for my family…that I don’t want the stress of “work”.

So one day, after Dick uttered these vicious words to me: “We have work to do.”

Ahhhhhh! WORK! One of the most vicious 4-letter words! I just don’t like that word right now. I hate it when he says we have WORK to do. I don’t know why, it just makes me cringe. Anyway, so I say,

“Honey, I want to be a housewife. I’m ready to be a desperate housewife.” (BTW, I don’t watch that series but I’ve caught a glimpse here and there. Those chicas are loco!)

He laughs, “No, you have to work!” (He says…half jokingly.)

I tell him, “I want to be like those other Persian wives who just go shopping all day, travel and decorate their house.”

He laughs. He knows how lucky he has it that I’m not some high-maintenance, materialistic wife who just spends and spends. As we do, we always remind the other how lucky they are. I tell him all the time, shaking my head, tisking…“You are so lucky to have me.” And he knows it. That being said, I’m a very lucky woman myself. He’s the best husband and father, even though sometimes I have to break out my crazy Jane on his ass.

Anyway, in closing, I have a Yo-Momma joke that goes with this story: “Yo Momma’s so stupid she thinks a two-income household is where yo daddy works TWO jobs.”

I tell Dick, that’s me, I wanna be that stupid.

-Jane, Wanna-be Desperate Housewife.

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