“Hey guys, how ya doin? Where’s Dick? At home sleeping?”

“Yep, the usual.” (It’s probably around noon or later.)

“You still smoking cigarettes? They’re so bad for you.”

“I know, I know.”

“But she smokes the ORGANIC kind!”

(June chimes in.)

“As a matter of fact, I do. These have no extra additives.

Just straight up tobacco. Plus, I’m a seasonal smoker.”

They’re both laughing at me as everyone does when I explain how most cigarettes have TONS of added chemicals and these are the HEALTHIEST CIGARETTES out there. I know, OXYMORON – You know how I like to TRY to be HEALTHY!

Smoking, for me, is not an addiction to the nicotine. It’s a nostalgic feeling of being free to just sit, enjoy life and watch people…reminiscent of my more youthful days. Plus, instead of a 10-minute cig, it’s like a 15 minute cig because it’s packed so tight. Seriously people, I takes me like 1-2 weeks to go through a pack.

“Yeah yeah yeah. You should quit. Does Dick smoke?”

“No, he hates it. But I don’t smoke that much. Just during the warm season…when I have coffee or drinks.”

“If you were married to the RIGHT person, you wouldn’t be smoking.”

Basically, he was being funny and taking a jab at Dick for not being able to keep his woman under wraps. It doesn’t offend me because I just know this is how some men think. However, that also doesn’t mean I’m just gonna sit there and let it slide.

“Well, like Miley Cyrus, I can’t be TAMED!”

(Yes I’m a Miley fan. She’s got some catchy tunes and a pretty decent voice.)

June laughs at my words of wisdom, taken from the Queen Teeny Bopper and says,

“Oh, she’s just being Miley.”

We all laugh, although I’m not sure Vinny even knows anything about Miley.

UNTAMABLE

What is it about men that make them think they can TAME any woman?

I remember when I was in Japan, I had a private Japanese tutor who was around my age, about 24 at the time. During our weekly sessions, I used to fall asleep right in front of her as she was talking to me. I was so tired from working 12+ hours a day, going out until the wee hours of the morning, and still reporting to work the next day with only 4-5 hours sleep.

After I finally woke up, I would ask her, “How long have I been sleeping for?”. Apparently for about ten minutes!

Anyway, we would chat and she used to tell me how the Japanese men there were all interested in me. Shocked, I said, “No way, they wouldn’t like me. I’m not very traditional.” She responded, “They think they can CHANGE you.”. I just had to burst out loud laughing.

Sorry, I just AIN’T the tame kind.

Enjoy Miley’s “Can’t be Tamed” video below.

-Jane, Untamed Miley Fan.

There’s nothing worse or more painful than trying to pop a zit that is not ready. Annoyed at having to look at this thing for the last couple of days, it seemed that it would NEVER go away and needed to be URGED. Unfortunately, urging one that is not ready it only makes it BIGGER and more VISIBLE.

And applying concealer seems to HIGHLIGHT it more than conceal it. I should have just left it alone. That’s lack of PATIENCE for you and RESISTANCE to what is. Dayum.

Ok, so I know it doesn’t look THAT big in the pic but I already put the concealer on!

-Jane, Impatient Resister.

JANE IS MISSING HER DRIVER’S LICENSE

Just my luck that while in the car on the way there there, I realize that my wallet is NOT in my purse. It must have fallen out in my car when we changed our minds and had JUNE CLEAVER drive us today.  I’m like…no worries! I know the guy at the door…kinda. And if not him, the manager there sees me all the time.

We walk in and there’s a girl there that I’ve never seen before. Grreeeaaat. So, I’m trying to explain how I don’t have my wallet but I’m DEFINITELY older than 21, even if my ego would love to mistaken for younger.

“Um, where’s the black guy that’s usually here???

He ‘knows’ me…knows I’m older than 21.”

“He’s not working tonight.”

“Uh huh…where’s the manager guy with the glasses? He knows me too.”

(I’m sounding totally unconvincing since I can’t even remember their names!

NOTE TO SELF: Need to remember people’s names!!)

“He’s not here tonight either.”

Just my luck! The two dudes who can vouch for me and they’re not working tonight.

Luckily, she’s like...”It’s ok. I believe you.”

Oh so now I don’t look like I could be younger than 21 huh?

BLOODY MARY’S AND POOL

I’m feelin’ like Bloody Mary’s tonight. Extra olives please!

Since my favorite pool table next to the ping pong table is currently occupied by a couple, we play pool at another table first. I got my eye on ping pong though.

Then, I spot that the ping pong table is available so we go and snag it.

Now, MIA is a FANTASTIC ping pong player. She plays tennis and it shows in her game. She’s also competitive, like me.

Here she is slamming one on me.

I have a pretty mean backhand myself.

We play for a bit and I lose.

I should have taken that as a clue for the theme of the night.

ARE YOU LADIES…UM…TOGETHER???

We also grab another pool table nearby which is how I get mistaken for a LESBIAN the second time in my life. This girl comes over and asks us if we’re “together”.

I’m like, “I’m married  with kids.”…pointing to June….“She’s married with kids.”…and to MIA, “She’s single.”

I guess she was sent over to make sure it was cool first because she goes back to her group of friends and then this guy comes meandering over to talk to us…well, I should say…MIA…the single one.

This guy is very nice, except…he was a little DIFFERENT…in a very INNOCENT WAY. I can’t say anything mean about him because he was trying so very hard, was quite a gentleman and PERSISTENT.

MIA is too nice to say anything.

THE TENNIS GUY

While my girls are preoccupied, I go to the bar to get another drink when this guy sitting at the bar says:

” I saw you playing ping pong over there. You’re pretty good.”

“Thanks but I just lost to my cousin.”

” Well you’re pretty good but I could still kick your ass though.”

Oh! A challenge! I love CHALLENGES!

Plus, my head is pretty big from having schooled those boys last time.

“Really! Wanna play?”

So we play and he’s VERY good. Turns out he’s a tennis player. Totally BEATS me!

That’s my big head deflating.

MYSTERIOUS EASTSIDE DUDE

While I was playing the tennis player, this TATTOOED to the MAX dude playing pool with his friends at the pool table next to us sees me playing against this tennis player and wants to play as well.

You can’t see due to the glare but over his left eye is a tattoo that says “EASTSIDE”.

Not being one to hold back, I’m like:

“What’s that say over your eye there. Eastside? You in some GANG or something?”

He just smiles this shy but mischievous smile. You can totally see it on his face…boy’s been around and back. Being NOSY and CURIOUS,  I continue on asking him all kinds of stuff…he probably thinks I’m CIA. EASTSIDE is being SUPER VAGUE and doesn’t really want to reveal anything but I find out he USED to live in Cali and now lives here. That explains the EASTSIDE.

Whatever, I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to play ping pong! So we play some pong and he’s SURPRISINGLY very good. So I ask him:

“Where did you learn to play ping pong so well?

I KNOW you didn’t learn in YO NEIGHBORHOOD!”

I had to throw in that jab since he wasn’t givin’ up any info.

He smiles that mischievous smile again.

Despite claiming to be super inebriated, EASTSIDE  beats me too!

Later I send MIA to play him, thinking she would beat him FO SHO.

But, EASTSIDE schooled her as well. Just when you think you’re tough shit, life throws a brick in your face and wakes you up. Thanks, I needed that.

DA MENS ARE LOOMING

Meanwhile, June has found herself a POOL tutor.

Dude was giving her pool tips that she said were actually helpful.

MIA was busy as well, talking to this retired gentleman.

And me, I’m playing pool against EASTSIDE’s cousin.

I just noticed we have on similar belts. haha.

So, I’m doing pretty good…all the way up until the point where I scratch on the 8.

Unbelievable. Definitely not my night.

KAROAKE

Besides it being Ladies Night, it also happened to be KAROAKE night. Fabulous. I have to listen to a bunch of drunk-asses WAILING as I’m trying to get my game on. And dammit if I weren’t right. HORRID, absolutely HORENDOUS singing.

I can’t really say anything though because it takes GUTS and ALOT OF DRINKS to be able to get up there and sing in public. At least it would for me. And even then, I hope MY SENSES would not allow me to make such a fool of myself.

However, it didn’t stop EASTSIDE’S COUSIN from getting up on stage and cousin EASTSIDE wasn’t even going to stop his boy. No, he let him get right up on that stage and sing his ass off.

Besides being a TOTAL LOSER this evening, I had a great time hanging out with my girls and meeting new people. What’s really cool is that everyone we met was EXCEPTIONALLY nice and INTERESTING. Which is why I love getting out there and meeting ALL DIFFERENT KINDS of people.

You know when you scratch below the surface, we’re all the same. If YOU are OPEN-MINDED to meeting other people, THEY will be open-minded to meeting you. Love one another. Peace. XOXO.

-Jane, Lover of DIFFERENT.

]]> http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/jane-trumped-by-a-tennis-player-and-an-eastside-playah/feed/ 3 http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/jane-makes-it-out-alive-after-going-to-dolly-partons-splash-country/ http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/jane-makes-it-out-alive-after-going-to-dolly-partons-splash-country/#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 15:50:12 +0000 Jane http://janeanddick.com/?p=13923 After Toronto, MIA, the girls and I drive down to Metropolis so that she can spend a few days with my parents and enjoy the relaxing pace that is METROPOLIS. Since we’ve never been before, my mom wants to take us to Dolly Parton’s SPLASH COUNTRY.

Dick is in Gotham City so it’s just the LADIES today. The girls, MIA, Fanny Mae, and cousin Selena Gomez (yes, I have LOTS of family) are all up for a splash-fun filled day.

So here’s a glimpse at what SPLASH COUNTRY has to offer:

LAZY POOL

A lazy river for those who just want to chill and float around.

Plenty of places for one to SUN BATHE or sit for those who don’t want to get in the water…like Fanny Mae, who is happy to sit and watch her kids, grandkids, and nieces have a great time.

I’m super thankful because Fanny Mae gives me and the big kids an opportunity to ride the ADULT rides while the kids are playing happily.

Love you Mom!!!

Although, I think places like this should offer a CHAPERONE rate for grandparents who are just here watching. Heck, they can’t ride most of these rides anyway considering risk of injury and heart attacks…just sayin.

KIDDIE AREAS

One of two play areas for younger kids. This is good for bigger kids.

This large bucket topples over when full. I don’t have any pics of this because I was too busy trying to get video. Check out the video at the end of this post.

Yo! This is for the kids!

If your kids are younger, this area is great for infants and toddlers who can’t ride the bigger slides.

THE WAVE POOL

Typical of most wave pools, the water is pretty tame and dormant until the bell rings and then the waves start coming!

There’s TONS of these blue floats everywhere and I’m thinking how dangerous it could be should one of my kids get trapped under these things. And actually, I find out that there was a FATALITY last year and a 7-yr old boy DROWNED due to this very reason!

It’s so crowded and although there are lifeguards, I can totally see how a child could get trapped and no one would notice. So parents, keep an eye on your kids if you go in the wave pool!

(Taken with MIA’s waterproof case covering her camera. Hence the circle.)

THE SLIDES

I didn’t go down the middle of this one but the ones on the side are kinda scary.

You can’t see anything! It’s pitched dark and you’re going pretty fast!

The lines for some of these rides is insane…and it’s not even a weekend!

This is the lazy-woman’s way of carrying your mat while waiting in those long lines.

We doubled up on this ride. Good thing because Louise was pretty scared in the dark.

I think this is a kiddie slide we went on.

Couldn’t be one of the faster ones since we’re coming out UPRIGHT.

MIA, not me, takes a picture of the pretty buff dude on the right.

However, I concur. Nice bod.

Um, excuse me. WHY wasn’t I informed that my bikini bottom is only covering HALF my ass and that the tag is sticking out??? People, you need to be watching my back…LITERALLY. Next time I see something stuck in your teeth, I’m just gonna let it ride.

THE MAC DADDY OF SLIDES

There’s always one of those slides that is the mac daddy of all slides, that is like dead drop from way up high. MIA and Selena totally want to ride this and I’m like, GO AHEAD!

I can do the curvy rides but it seems that as I get older, I become more of a CHICKEN and am well aware that I am NOT IMMORTAL as I once thought in my younger days.

Now, going down, they tell you to fold your arms over your chest and cross your legs.

Correct.

Left: Correct. Right: Incorrect.

I finally decide to build up my nerve to go and I do…but there are no pics. You’ll just have to watch the video.

Basically, I had my eyes closed the entire time and was just praying the whole time down (about 4-5 seconds but it felt like FOREVER), that I wouldn’t fall forward or be the ONE to injure or KILL myself. I’m not very good with high drops like that.

Anyway, I walked away with slight burning on my back but I’m ALIVE and I’m not going back! Once was enough for me but I made MIA and Selena go a couple more times while I tried to catch it on video. They were more than willing to oblige.

THE VIDEO

So, here’s the video of all the FUN we had at SPLASH COUNTRY.

We all got to be kids today. SUPER FUN.

Sadly we didn’t get to see Mz. Dolly Parton.

-Jane, Splash Country Fan

]]> http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/jane-makes-it-out-alive-after-going-to-dolly-partons-splash-country/feed/ 4 http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/asian-secret-to-strong-lush-hair-uh-huh/ http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/asian-secret-to-strong-lush-hair-uh-huh/#comments Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:23:11 +0000 Jane http://janeanddick.com/?p=13970 I came across this article titled: “The Asian secret to strong, lush hair.” and was intrigued.

I’m Asian…what’s the secret? I didn’t realize we were holding back.

Reading further, I discover what I already knew…there IS no secret!

It’s GENETICS people!

I have thick hair (I don’t know about luscious) and I don’t use OOKISA.

I bet this article was written by OOKISA to promote their own product and their using key words like “touted by American celebrities” to sucker you into buying their product. Oh yeah? Which ones? Common people, don’t be a SUCKER.

So like, if you use this product, all of a sudden it’s going to take over your genes and convert them to the THICK kind? If anything, it probably just coats your hair with some CRUD so that it’s thicker. If there really was an Asian secret to having thick hair and I knew it, I’d tell you.

-Jane, Possessor of Secret Asian Hair. LOL

Let’s TRY to get a picture, k?

Can you tell that Diddy is NONE too happy.

Only siblings can be so ALIKE yet SO DIFFERENT!!

Oh, wait…is that a semi-smirk I see Uncle Diddy?

Uncle Reagan being playful. Can you tell he’s the youngest of them?

My uncles and my aunts are like my extended parents. I adore them.

-Jane, Possessor of the BEST family in the UNIVERSE.

Ron comes here so often that the management knows him AND can even speak some Chinese to them. There are many Vietnamese who can speak Chinese and vice versa. I’m not one of them.

In Toronto, because there is a HUGE Asian community here, the tables are super large to accomodate the many HUGE families that come and eat together…like ours. There’s always a LAZY SUSAN in the middle, so that we can all reach the food.

If you’ve never had DIM SUM before, it’s basically CHINESE BRUNCH.

DIM SUM is essentially appetizers such as dumplings and assorted meats and veggies that are rolled around on carts. You get to pick and choose what you would like to eat and each dish ranges from like $2-$5. I love it because you can try a little of everything.

THE FOOD

I’ve definitely GAINED WEIGHT during this trip…so much good food.

Crab claws with deep fried shrimp.

Eggplant stuffed with Shrimp.

Tofu with Shrimp.

Ha gao. (Steamed shrimp.)

I think BUBBA from FOREST GUMP would be proud at all the different uses the Chinese have come up with for shrimp.

Egg noodles with Beef and Chinese Broccoli.

Pork spare ribs? Pork something. I forgot.

Anyway, it’s got bones. Unlike most Viets that I know, I don’t really like eating anything with bones. I will but prefer not to. Most Viets I know love sucking on bones but I’m like, too much effort for too little meat. Plus, I don’t like to get my hands dirty. (Like eating chicken wings.)

Top-Sweet sesame buns. Bottom-Egg Custards.

Sweet tofu dessert.

This is just a few of the items that they have.

If you’ve never tried DIM SUM, you TOTALLY should  (although I would say you have to live in a decent size city to find a dim sum restaurant).

Not everything is weird (Just skip the chicken feet and tripe) and it’s SOOOO YUMMY!

-Jane, Dim Sum Lover.

]]> http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/dim-sum-with-ron-and-nancy/feed/ 0 http://janeanddick.com/music-to-my-ears/pretty-boy-swag-is-pretty-pretty-stupid/ http://janeanddick.com/music-to-my-ears/pretty-boy-swag-is-pretty-pretty-stupid/#comments Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:40:34 +0000 Jane http://janeanddick.com/?p=13912 Ok, so here’s another example of a MOST RIDICULOUS song. Seriously, really?

Dis…right here…is…really really STUPID.

GET OUT DA WAY…for a better song.

-Jane, Non-Fan of Pretty Boy Swag.

Ronald and Nancy Reagan.

It’s very relaxing where Ron and Nancy live. I love it!

WE EAT.

I’m starting to think everything we do revolves around food. Food, good food, is quite important in our family. I guess we’re a bunch of pigs.

We spend alot of time eating here at the “breakfast table” despite having a formal dining table. It’s just more comfy and easy.

Congee (rice porridge) and salt duck egg is a great late night snack. OMG, so good!

Ronald and Nancy are AMAZING cooks so we always have YUMMY food when we’re here.

MIA and Louise helped with this meal as well.

Thai Basil Clams and Ribs.

WE LOUNGE.

Everyone loves to lounge around.

Ke$ha chillin’ with Thelma.

Eminem invites his girlfriend, Mariah, to come over.

MIA, late night snacking and SKYPING with her parents in Australia.

Uncle Ronald gets into it too, despite being computer-illiterate and never going online.

WE PLAY GAMES

Scattergories.

If you’ve never played Scattergories before, it’s quite fun.

There’s about 16 cards on the left, with a bunch of different categories like sports, song titles, parts of body, ethnic foods, etc. We all agree on one and roll a “dice” with letters on it to see which letter we get.

Then you have something like 2 minutes to write down a word, fitting each category and starting with the rolled letter, that you think NO ONE else will write down. Otherwise, you won’t get a point for that word.

You can also be creative however, everyone has to vote on the word you selected. The creative ones are what makes it fun. Mine got voted down a lot. YOU GUYS JUST DON’T WANT ME TO WIN!

We also had taboo but decided to use the cards for PICTIONARY instead. Pictionary was quite fun as well.

Check out our pictures for TACO. Yeah, would YOU have guessed TACO???

We got kinda loud and moved to the basement since Queenie was asleep on the couch.

Look who’s being used as a pillow…MONK!

We move down to the basement but look who’s moved to the couch down here too!

Queenie wakes up because it’s TOO quiet and notices that we’ve all gone downstairs. She gets lonely and likes the noise so she moves down here to be with us. This is also our makeshift sleeping area so some sleep here, on the couch, or upstairs in the bedrooms or even the living room. It’s like one big slumber party and SUPER FUN.

Sometimes we just sleep wherever we pass out…like MIA and Eminem here.

Man, I love my family. I seriously have the MOST FUN with them.

-Jane, Lover of my CRAZY family.

]]> http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/chillin-at-ronald-reagans-yes-more-food-scattergories-pictionary/feed/ 0 http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/scenic-pics-of-lakeshore-in-toronto/ http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/scenic-pics-of-lakeshore-in-toronto/#comments Fri, 23 Jul 2010 18:00:59 +0000 Jane http://janeanddick.com/?p=13821

-Jane, Lake Photographer.