Remember I mentioned Dick is running a marathon soon, therefore he’s training and researching about marathons online.
DICK:
“Baby, I’ve been researching about marathons. And some people have commented about the long term effects of having run a marathon. Like, this one guy said he couldn’t do anything RAPIDLY for 18 months after he ran the marathon. And another guy said that at mile 21, he felt like his ASS BROKE. And, they say, towards the end of the 26 miles, you’re in SO MUCH pain and for the guys, you experience chaffing on your balls and your nipples (from rubbing against your shirt with sweat and stuff.).”
I’m laughing but really, why the hell would you put yourself through this? Is this a near mid-life crisis thing? Maybe an ego thing to prove you’re still young?
Sorry, not this Jane. I’m sure by mile 2 I’m gonna wanna go home. And if I ever did make it to mile 26, I’m sure my boobs canteloupes would not be none too pleased with me. That sounds super painful. I would need some super-strength sports bra. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen any big-boobied runners.
JANE:
“I don’t know why you have this crazy hair in your ass to put yourself through this, but whatever. Just don’t come back all hurt and shit. We can’t afford that now. I’ll be pissed.”
(I know, I’m such a loving supportive wife.)
DICK:
“Yeah, then you’ll see how much you guys need me! See how valuable I am!”
(Cocky as ever.)
JANE:
“Yeah yeah.”
I mean, Dick hasn’t EVER even run 26 miles! He’s been doing maybe half that!
He tells me he MIGHT have run that many miles when he was a kid. I remind him that was 20 years ago!! Ummm, things are a little different now honey.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know Dick will finish this marathon and probably in good time. He’s an extremely good runner, at one point was even training for the Junior Olmpics. (Dick corrected me…He was already aJunior Olympian and was training for the Olympics. Ohhhh!)
But, he also extreme and will push himself to the limit…so if he doesn’t finish, it’ll be because he’s injured himself. Hence, my warning.
Here’s Dick after running with us while we were on our bikes (on and off) for about 3 hours.
Imagine what he’ll look like after a 26 mile run (approximate 4+ hours nonstop).
-Jane, Wife of Runner Dick.
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