Recently, I’m hobbing around like a GIMP because I pick my foot so much that I can’t walk on it because it’s has open cuts from me pulling off my skin to ease the itching of the new skin that has grown back oh, probably hundreds of times. EXTREMELY PAINFUL! Instead, you’ll see me limping around using on the toes of my right foot. (I have finally overcome picking of the LEFT FOOT. Yay! Progress???).
Still, my right foot is being mashochistically punished every few days because I’ll pick, limp, wait for skin to grow back, itch, pick again, repeat over and over and over again.
Dick looks at me today and says:
“Is this going to be a permanent problem?”
(Admittedly, he’s right. Ugh. Is it?)
We’re at dinner, eating out for once because I’m too tired and lazy to cook today. Gourmet brick oven baked pizza.
The sun is setting and the weather is a perfect, spring, lightly breezing, 70s night.
While we’re waiting for our food, we’re playing HANGMAN.
You know, where you guess the letters (like Wheel of Fortune) and every letter you guess incorrectly, you start to accumulate body parts that eventually will become a person, who eventually will get hanged if you can’t guess the word or words on time. Talk about stress!
Would YOU be able to save someone, prior to being hanged, when this poor, innocent soul’s fate is littering hanging upon your ability and acumen in guessing the correct letters that will help you solve the problem??? Kinda violent come to think of it as I’m writing this.
Sorry, I digress. So, he’s like,
“Is this going to be a permanent problem? You’re like limping all the time now. I’m going to have to get you those…those…old people shoe’s…you know for walking…for your feet…”
I put him out of his misery for not being able to come up with the right word…
“You mean ORTHOPEDIC shoes?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Those.”
I act like I’m going to punch him in the stomach.
Then, I look over at the next table. What do I see?
The very same shoes he’s talking about. ORTHOPEDICS.
(If you look closely, it looks like she’s wearing nude ANKLE SOCKS that have slipped halfway down her foot. Why do old people love nude ankle socks and knee highs? And this goes for women AND men! I can’t stand pantyhose. It makes my feet all slippery, which makes it incredibly difficult, in already difficult-to-maneuver, 3-4 inch heels!)
“Yes! Those are the ones! I’m going to get you THOSE!”
Whatevs. Not this Jane’s style! I’m gonna fix my problem. Just taking my time.
-Jane, NON-WEARER OF ORTHOPEDICS. Ever.
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