Fun with Jane & Dick

We left off with Dick, smirking. There are no pictures of the following events but I will try to illustrate for you when applicable.

I’m trying to let go of everything but with no sleep for almost two days, I’m definitely not in the mood for further BUTTON PUSHING. and Dick knows exactly which buttons to push. We ALL know which buttons to push when it comes to LOVED ones and when they turn into HATED ones, we PUSH or PUNCH those buttons. As I’m waiting for him to unlock the door, he starts.

“So, you got locked out huh? How did THAT happen? [smirk smirk]

That’s what happens when I leave three women home alone.” [smirk smirk]

U didn’t have Daddy here.” [smirk smirk]

Here, let me help you with that SMIRKING PROBLEM.

Dick’s smart ass jab is starting a little fire inside. Now is not the time to be funny. Especially not this kind of funny. However, I try to put it out the fire for the sake of my own sanity and for the kids. I warn him though, in a very SLOW and SERIOUS manner.

“Do NOT talk to me. I’m NOT in the mood.”

I go into the kitchen to make something to eat and to avoid him. Yeah, after all this and I was STILL going to make some pasta for dinner. Although I was angry inside, I was still hopeful that we could get past it. Well, it’s unhealthy to supress anger because it’ll all come out in an EXPLOSION later if not resolved. It definitely was not resolved, definitely repressed.

He follows me in there and keeps egging me on. Honestly, now, I can’t even remember what he said to set me off but it was a jab…like the one before and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. You remember how I said everyone has their limit and once you hit it, all sanity is lost? That’s me, I went off the deep end. I was SO PROFUSELY ANGRY at the imbalance of work, the lack of urgency, the lack of care for my well being, and the lack of appreciation for all that I do and sacrifice.

Then it all came back…the immense anger and resentment I had for having driven all the way here and all the work I put into trying to take care of our family and our business…I started to spew off plenty of expletives and really lost my sanity. I was SUPER ANGRY.

Well, it got pretty ugly, the girls were crying, Dick took them and left. I was home alone, worried that something happened to them because I couldn’t reach them by phone. Dick had left it at the condo and then they went to grab some pizza. A lot of painful things were said. I can’t rehash through it all again. Too much of an emotional roller coaster. As tough as it is to admit, the worst part is having the kids be witnes to their parents being so hateful to each other. I remember this as a kid too and hating seeing my parents fight.

I ask the girls them later what it was that upsets them when we’re fighting.

“I don’t want you and Daddy to get a divorce!”

Poor things. Dick and I may get heated and argue but DIVORCE IS NOT IN OUR VOCABULARY.

We’re in it for life and divorce is not an option for this family and we both agree on that. We WILL make it work. That’s why, as bad as it may seems sometimes, we’ve been through alot in our almost 15 years together and despite him bringing me to the point of insanity, there is no other person I’d rather be with than him, no better father than him. He is the one and only love of my life. You can go puke now.

Don’t you hate it when people are oooozing with lovey dovey shit publicly? Like with Facebook. People professing their undying love and communicating with their loved ones online. You freaking live together or see eachother often. And if you don’t, you probably talk for endless hours on the phone together, describing your every step of the day down to wiping your ass and profess how much you love and missed eachother ALL DAY LONG and how it hurts so much to be apart. Ugh.

Sorry but I don’t like mushy, emotional, clingy guys. TOTAL turnoff! If I wanted a mushy guy, I’d be a LESBIAN. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…remember the Seinfield episode about being all PC?)

Dick drives me f*****g nuts at times but no one is perfect. Not me, not him. No one. Marriage is like everything else. You have to work at it and you definitely have to put EGOS aside. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. And this is definitely worthwhile. Having happy children is worthwhile. Growing old together is worthwhile. Having a happy family is defnitely worthwhile. I don’t know about you but my goals in life are PEACE, LOVE and HAPPINESS. Cliche but true. That’s why it’s tattooed on my back, in Japanese.

I am not proud at being an insane woman in front of my kids but I am proud of the fact that we let the girls see that we are able to put our differences aside in the end and come together for the sake of the family. We made amends and assured the girls that although we may fight or disagree about things, this family is SOLID and we’re not going any where.

While they were gone and  couldn’t reach them, I was thinking the worst. I thought he was angry, wasn’t paying attention to the road, they get in a car accident…the worst. When you think of these things you then think…is what we’re fighting about REALLY important? Is it worth it? Life is not guaranteed to us. It is a gift. And it is we who choose to do with it what we will.

I was so happy when I was finally able to hug my girls. It was late and we fell asleep. Dick and I made up and agreed that we needed to try to make things more peaceful at home…for the sake of the family, for the sake of the kids. We also agreed that we need a little time to rest so we stayed in Gotham City a few days longer, to recoup, relax, and enjoy time together as a family. We needed it. I DEFINITELY NEEDED IT.

-Jane, Emotionally and Physically Drained.

Jane flips her shiz. Oh I could just kill a man., 4.7 out of 5 based on 3 ratings

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