The other night, my cousins and I decide to go to the local sports bar since it was Ladies Night. You may or may not know that I love to shoot pool. It’s one of my favorite pastimes.
I started playing in high school, used to skip class in college to go play (A couple of friends may tell you I used to hustle in college. It’s possible that I may have been inebriated and challenged some college dudes so that my friends and I could get some free drinks. Very small time hustling. I just wanted to see if I could do it.) and when I was living in Japan, I would play almost daily, embarrassing a few Japanese businessmen who think that women can’t play pool. (They also think that anyone who has a tattoo is Yakuza.) I’m decent but a far cry from the Black Widow.
I arrive after my cousins, who already have a table. It’s in the back corner, close to the only ping pong table. I have to admit, ping pong was also calling my name. Since my cousins already started a game, I told them just keep playing. I’ll come in next round.
I was eyeing the ping pong table where two young guys were just sitting on the side, talking, drinking. At one point, it looked like one dude left (Dude B) so I went over to the guy who was sitting by himself (Dude A).
“Are you playing?”
“Yeah, me and a buddy of mine who will be back soon.”
“Wanna rally a little?”
“Uh, well…I guess until he gets back, which is gonna be soon…well, ok.”
(Dude A sounded like he didn’t really want to because I guess he thought that Dude B might be upset that someone has replaced him but obliged anyway.)
This is a picture I took of my cousin playing the boys later. I just want to show you what the dudes look like. Dude A is sitting and Dude B is playing with my cousin.
So we rally and he’s starting to sense that I’m a decent player. Not two minutes later, Dude B comes out and sees that his friend, Dude A, who he had left not five minutes ago, has now replaced him with an Asian chick. He wasn’t upset but actually seemed more shocked that his friend found a female to play with in the five minutes that he had gone to take a leak.
“What is this?”
“Oh, I was just rallying with your friend while you were gone. Here you go.”
I was handing him back his paddle.
“Oh no! By ALL means, continue on!”
He was curious and wanted to see his friend play against a female.
So, we rally some more. I’m not really holding back…just playing like normal. I slam a few and the Dude A is spending more time picking up balls than he is hitting them. Dude B is like “Not really fair that we’re kinda drunk.” - already making excuses.
I slam a few more. Dude A & B are equally impressed and shocked that I can actually play. Another one flies by with some spin, I then add…
“I’m…uh…a little good.”
“A LITTLE good ?!?!?!”
Dude B was surprised that I was so blunt but knew that I could back it up.
“Yeah, my husband and I have a table and we like to play. Often.”
I rally a little with Dude A and decided that I should let them play since it IS their table but Dude B was insistent that I play an actual game with his friend. You know me, Competitive Jane is all up for a friendly game of ping pong.
We play and it’s obvious that I am going to kick Dude A’s ass. His coordination has definitely been impacted by alcohol and unlike with pool, drinking DOES not improve your ping pong game. You need fast reflexes in ping pong, you don’t in pool. His friend is cheering him on from the sidelines:
“Oh! Come on man, you can do it!”, supporting him because it’s his pal but kinda enjoying seeing his friend struggle against a girl. He says to me,
“Sorry but I gotta support my boy, you know…cause he’s my boy.”
“Totally, I wouldn’t expect anything less!”
I’m not worried…all the support in the world is not going to help your friend beat me today. After a while though, Dude B was so impressed at some of my shots that he was high-fiving me. What happened to supporting your mate?
In the end, I kicked his friend’s ass 21-6. Five of those were unforced errors by me where I missed. Not much of a challenge but still fun nonetheless. Dude B,
“So, is this when you throw down some money and try to hustle us?”
I laugh.
“No, I just like to play for fun.”
Well, I’ve taken up their table for long enough and thought I would go shoot some pool with my cousins but Dude B now wants to play me. Sure, why not. I play Dude B, who is doing better than his friend but not good enough. I beat him 21-18. Yes, one of my favorite pasttimes is kicking boys’ butts in ping pong.
Since I’ve already beat them both, I decide to go play pool and send over my cousin (above) to replace me. I tell the boys to play with her and we decide to share the pool and ping pong tables.
However, not long after that and only an hour after I’d been out, the kids are calling me. I need to go home after I finish the game with my cousin. After I play with my cousin, Dude A comes over to the pool tables.
“Since you thoroughly schooled me in ping pong, let me try to redeem myself and play you in pool. I love to play pool.”
“Well, I would love to but my kids are calling me and I need to leave soon.”
“Wait…you have kids?!?!?! How old ARE you????”
“Like the shirt says, 35.”
“Thirty-five?!?!?! What? I thought you were probably like 25 or something. And you have kids?”
Yeah, I’ll take that any day. He’s flabbergasted. I guess my Pippi Longstocking braids take off 10 years.
We play a quick game. He’s starting to sweat a little since I think he thought he would school me in pool as retribution for the slaying earlier. I had one of those shots where you have to do the behind-the-back thing. I guess it looks impressive if you can pull off a shot like this but it’s really not that hard if you have a steady hand. After I got the shot, Dude A turns to me slowly with a surprised look on this face.
“Um….can…I…marry…you?”
LOL. Get in line. LOL.
Watch out Dick, I’m getting offers! Luckily, my Dick doesn’t get jealous. He was actually quite amused. He KNOWS how valuable I am and he also KNOWS that I’m forever his.
Well, it was a close game with both of us going for the 8-ball but Dude A was pretty good at pool and redeemed himself. The boys were pretty sad that me and my Asian crew were leaving since we spiced up their night a little but this Momma’s gots to get home to her girls! Thanks boys! It was fun!
-Jane, Ping Pong Slayer.
19/06/2010 at 10:22 AM Permalink
I love this post…but how was I told about everything but the marriage proposal – holding out on me eh?
19/06/2010 at 12:07 PM Permalink
Yeah, I guess since I wasn’t actually considering it, I forgot. Sorry, won’t let it happen again.