Fun with Jane & Dick

I know there are people out there who find ironing to be extremely relaxing and meditational. Although I can understand this train of thought, I’m still not a fan.

I don’t iron. Plain and simple. My family walks around in wrinkled clothes all the time. It’s just not one of my priorities.

SHEETS BEYOND WRINKLED

As usual, I washed the sheets from my bed. And as usual, I forget that the dryer buzzer has gone off and so the sheets are just sitting there, wrinkles setting in as they cool down. They were pretty much in the dryer all day so, they came out looking like this:

That’s just TOO wrinkled, even for this Jane.

I wouldn’t be able to stand looking at those wrinkles every day.

Then I remembered Mama F telling me how in Germany, they iron their sheets.

The thought!!! Ironing sheets?!?!?!

Well, this time, I’m going to have to just suck it up and do it.

MY CORDLESS IRON

I bought my iron when I was living in Japan. When my aunt Queen Latifa came to visit me, being the unique person that she is, she tells me the only thing she wants as  a souvenir from Japan is a CORDLESS IRON. A friend of hers came back from Japan with one and she had total IRON ENVY.

So, I take Queen Latifa to the “BEST BUY” of Japan, the “Besto Denki”. Because in Japan I am considered a large woman (all the girls there are tiny!), I could hardly fit any of the clothes so I would never go clothes shopping but instead substituted with technology shopping. (Plus, women are not allowed to try on shirts because they know people get make-up all over it.). The sales people at the Besto Denki knew me well.

In Japan, everything is cutesy and comes in every shade of pastel…TVs, stereos, washer and dryers, garbage cans, tuperware. I don’t know why this is but it’s just the way yo! After looking at several irons, we decide on this one.

The National Se Pa Re Cordless Iron.

Yes, it’s pink. See what I mean? Pastel.

This is just the carrying case. Neat, compact. I like.

Inside is the cradle for the iron.

This charging station is where the iron sits when not in use and heats it up.

See where the cord is nicely tucked away? It’s retractable, which is great for storage.

So, the controls on the iron are in Japanese and I have NO CLUE what it all says.

However, through experience and trial and error, I discover that the top button is for cottons, which equals VERY, VERY WRINKLED. The clear pink part is the housing for the water to steam your clothes.

Using the iron is pretty straight forward and it’s CORDLESS! I mean, this seems like it should be the standard to me! Why we don’t have CORDLESS IRONS as a STANDARD in the US, I have no clue.

I hate when I iron over the cord or have to flip it out of my way. This iron is just FABULOUS! I buy one for myself, one for my aunt, one for my parents and one for my sister.

JANE CAN IRON, I JUST DON’T WANT OR LIKE TO

Because I almost never iron, I don’t even own an ironing board. I just use my bed. And since I’m ironing my sheets, this is perfect. I fill up the iron with water and let it heat up to high. You saw those wrinkles, it’s definitely got to be on high.

I start with the pillow case.

Ok yes, not bad. I can see why people think it’s meditational, relaxing.

No cord to get in my way. Nice!

Your brain is pretty much on auto pilot.

You’re like in a trance just stroking back and forth, back and forth.

I keep ironing and ironing but the wrinkles are not coming out completely.

They’re TOO CREASED!

Time for drastic measures. The mister bottle.

Only, I go spray crazy and overdo it a bit.

It’s an hour later and I’m no longer smiling or at peace with myself.

Jane, not-a happy.

I’m thinking to myself, “Why, O Why did I venture down this road?”.

I’m still working on the same pillow case!

My back is KILLING ME!

Continuously leaning over like this for the last hour is breaking my back.

No wonder ironing boards are high.

I’m now finally done with one pillow case.

Quite the difference and I can’t just leave it like this, even though I want to.

I’m totally dreading doing the other one.

I suck it up and finish that one too.

I decided that for my back’s sake I am not going to iron the fitted sheet. HELLS NO!

I just pull it tightly around the edges which takes most of the wrinkles out.

Being completely tired towards the end, I no longer have the gusto that I had in the beginning.

It’s time for short cuts.

So, I only iron the top part of the fitted sheet…the part that will be showing and folded over the comforter.

The rest of it I could care less because it’s never going to be visible.

IRONED SHEETS

So, here we are…IRONED SHEETS! TA DA!

Notice how the second pillow (the one on the right) doesn’t look as nice.

It’s still got a few wrinkles but I’m tired and I don’t care anymore at this point.

Although I LOVE my cordless iron, I’m gonna have to remember to take the sheets out of the dryer as soon as the buzzer goes off next time because I sure as hell am not going to iron again.

Last famous words.

-Jane, Non Fan of Ironing.

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