Fun with Jane & Dick

Lucy Lu, my dear sister is in town to visit. Good thing because I was all depressed about J Lo, Will and Carlton leaving us. Of course, I’ll be sad again when Lucy leaves but whatever, can’t think about that now.

So, we go to Kohl’s because I need to return some swimming goggles that I bought for the girls. They’re joining a swim team this summer and needed some goggles. I had bought extra ones so they could still pick what style/color they liked since they weren’t with me. More on the swim team later-and by later, I mean on another blog post. 

TRYING ON CLOTHES

Fanny Mae, my mom, joins us as well because she loves shopping at Kohls and has some coupons we can use. Great! We look around to see what they got…Kohls usually has decent teeny-bopper clothes that I can wear. So, I pick out some stuff to try on.

(See Lucy in the mirror taking the pic? Yes, we usually share a dressing room so we can comment on how much we LOVE or HATE the outfit the other has tried on.)

Ok, so the moo-moo dress that I decided to try on was not as cute as I thought. I know, it doesn’t go with my spiked dog collar. But, besides loving the goth/rocker look, I’m also a fan of the vintage hippy look. Sadly, the dress is not as nice as it looks on the rack, is hideous and makes me look fat and big boobied. Even though the latter is true, looking fat and big boobied, in tandem, is not flattering…nor is this dress.

Now, big-boobied when you have SEPARATED boobie cleavage is good…you know, the coveted gap? However, the opposite is true here…SMOOSHED together boobies makes for no gap and therefore, makes for fatty looking boobs. Not fattering!

But, sometimes you just have to try these things on because you never know…I’ve picked out some strange looking things and have it turn out looking awesome. Not so lucky this time. Xsnay on the ess-dray (Anyone else speak pig latin? Mine is modified version.). Next!

Much better. This I can do! Now, these capris I picked out, I purposefully selected a size much larger than my usual size. I’m normally a size 3ish. (Don’t be hatin’.) However, I find that sometimes buying 1, 2, and even 3 sizes larger makes a HUGE difference in FIT, STYLE, and COMFORT.

Ok, so it’s a blow to the EGO to be wearing something 2-3 sizes larger. But, who cares?!?!! Nobody knows it but you. It’s more important to LOOK good than to feed your EGO. Guess what size these pants are?

SIZE 9!!!

They may be hanging down my butt a little bit and the top of my underwear is kinda exposed, but…this is the case for all the low rider pants and jeans these days anyway…always exposing the plumber crack. Anyway, I love the baggy look, it looks great with this top, and it’s SUPER DUPER COMFY…which would not be the case had I bought my regular size. Totally down with this look. It’s a keeper.

THE RETURN

So, remember I said we were there to return the goggles? Well, we did our shopping first because this Kohl’s customer service department is in the BACK of the store. I hate this. I think they purposefully do this so you won’t return stuff. It’s such a pain to go to the back of the store! I don’t know why, it’ just is, I know it’s not THAT much further but it just seems like it’s like a mile down the road.

We picked out what we wanted to buy and we head to the customer service desk for our returns and new purchases. Luckily, there’s only one person in line. That is, until WE got there.

I finish my return and then Truc and I put our purchases with my mom’s so we can take advantage of my mom’s 15% off coupon. Plus, there’s some other promotion where if you spend $50, you get a $10 credit towards your next purchase. This is where we get into trouble. Because we had 15% off, it put is just UNDER $50 by a few dollars. Of course, Fanny Mae is not going to let that $10 get away so she is deciding what else she can buy at the LAST MINUTE to put her over $50 to take advantage of the promotion.  As you can imagine this is taking some time because now a HUGE-ASS line behind us.

I’m sure all these people are like, “Damn this Asian woman! Buy something already!”

Our mom is rambling about her indecisiveness and the poor guy who is working today is the object of our mom’s affection today. I’m sure he’s feeling the heat of the line of angry shoppers behind us. Lucy and I, being the great daughters that we are, are SO embarrassed that we have ditched my mom to fend for herself. 

I catch Lucy hiding out in the kids section.

Then, we hear over the intercom:

“We need an associate back in customer service.”

Lucy tells me this is due to Fanny Mae. They’re sending backup. More assistance is needed because of my mom’s hold up.

Then, when my mom finally catches up with us after she was done, we told her how we had to leave her because she had held up the line so badly. She was totally oblivious to the commotion she has caused!

-Jane, Embarrassed Shopper at Kohl's

 

Tryin on clothes at Kohls, boobie cleavage, and blockage in customer service., 4.8 out of 5 based on 4 ratings

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