It’s been a while since I’ve talked about my horrible habit of picking my feet and I’ve had many inquiries from other feet pickers on my progress. So, I am happy to announce that my feet have fully recovered!! I’ve managed to stop masochistically picking at my feet to the point that they bleed and I can’t walk like a normal human being. Dick even mentioned getting me orthopedic shoes because I was walking so funny.
I guess it’s taken pregnancy to get me to this state. No, not really, but it was a factor in it. I knew that I would be gaining weight, which having “normal” feet would be necessary in order to hold me up properly. I’m going to have plenty of balance issues as it is without having to try to balance on one foot because I’m limping due to bleeding, painful feet.
But actually, this has been a daily battle for me for about…oh probably three years now and I was starting to get really sick of myself for constantly terrorizing and torturing my feet.
Since I posted the original story where I outed myself as a closet feet picker, I have gotten many responses from other feet pickers who have this crazy, debilitating disorder. So, I know I’m not alone in this.
My feet picking compulsion had gotten so bad that one would think I sprained my ankle or something because I was limping around. Both my feet looked like I had been dragged alongside a moving car without any shoes on…bleeding with deep cuts. They were disgusting. And even though I outed myself, I was way too embarrassed to post a picture of the hideousness that was my feet. Now that they have healed, I am ready to post a picture now.
See how I can’t even face the camera? I had one of the girls that this picture and actually, this isn’t even the worst of it.
This is actually quite mild. At my worst, the picked area would extend from the bottom up to the balls of my feet, with deeper cuts and more bleeding. It was just too horrible and embarrassing for me to even stop to take a picture of it but just ask anyone in my family, it was aweful!
This is how they look now…YAY! Amazing how the body heals itself!
Now, although my feet have recovered, I am very careful to say that I’m “cured”. As I keep telling my mom and aunt who keep trying to tell me all these macrobiotic ways to fix my feet, this is a mental disorder…OCD…obsessive, compulsive disorder, and I believe this will be a life long battle. Although my feet have healed nicely, I still have the compulsion to pick. If I happen to have really dry skin and it starts to flake, I still find myself picking at it…just not to the same degree as before.
So, I did I do it in the end? The hardest part is when you are trying to quit and your feel are just starting to heal. They itch like a mother! This causes you to want to then pick at them even more and it’s actually quite soothing to pull off a layer of skin to ease the itch. So, the first two weeks takes lots of determination and plenty of moisturizing.
Remember I’m against using lotions so I used either olive oil, sesame oil, or coconut oil and applied it as soon as I got out of the shower, that way I could lock in the moisture of my already soft feet. Keeping them moisturized is critical!
I also used my ped egg and pumice stone every time I was in the shower so that I could try to keep them as smooth as possible. They also assisted in easing the itch!
Sadly though, the only method that I can see as being successful at obtaining normal feet would simply to be mentally strong and determined. If anyone knows of a better method (one that doesn’t require drugs/pharmaceuticals/lotions, please post!). Once your feet are healed, the compulsion to pick lessens, thereby increasing your chances of having normal feet. Then it’s just a matter of maintenance and keeping those feet nice and moist.
I’m really so happy to have normal feet again and my family is super happy to not see me constantly fiddling with my feet, limping around and finding my dead skin everywhere. I know, gross! It is gross, I admit it.
To all the feet pickers out there, BE STRONG! You can do it!
-Jane, Healed Feet Picker.
17/02/2011 at 9:01 AM Permalink
Jane! So glad to see that you are weaning yourself from the picking. It is quite a relief. I know because I am a finger-picker (primarily my thumbs). What helped me about two years ago was getting weekly manicures. I figured if my nails looked nice, I would want the skin around them to look nice too. Not pink or red or with bandaids to cover the places where I picked so much it started to bleed. BUT after two years of not picking, I went back to it & am so mad @ myself. I don’t know what got me started again but I am determined to fix the problem again. I hope you continue to heal & hope I can start to heal now too! Thanks for sharing!
18/02/2011 at 12:17 PM Permalink
Thanks Mariea. I am all too aware that this could reoccur. I find myself touching my feet, looking for unevenness so I can peel it. However, luckily, they’re still ok!
About your fingers, I find that the more I trim my cuticles, the more hangnails I get and therefore, want to peel off. I can understand how if you get a mani that it would assist in not picking your fingers since they are all pretty…but dang, that’s an expensive fix! Good luck and keep up with the determination…that, more than anything (including manicures) will help fix your problem.
11/03/2011 at 6:00 PM Permalink
Hi Jane,
I’ve had the same problem (on and off) for a few years now. I go through months where I pick, then let heal, then pick again… Then will go through the summer where I don’t pick at all. In an effort to make the bottom of my feet as smooth as possible my goal would be to pull off a large chunk. But I always try not to go deep to avoid any bleeding. My picking always starts after they heal and itch.
I also have another problem in that I am saving all the skin! I know it sounds weird, and I don’t know why I do it! It started when I would wrap it up in a napkin so family members wouldn’t see it and complain. Then one time I realized, ‘wow that’s a lot of skin… I wonder how much I peel in a week.”
Anyways, I need to start stopping now with summer around the corner. But I know as soon as winter comes and the heals get dry, it prompts another season of trying to get my feet as smooth as possible. I guess I never worried about it because I am not trying to hurt myself, in fact when I do and it bleeds I’ll stop for awhile. My goal is actually to relieve the itching pain I feel that causes the picking.
I also tend to work on one foot at a time. It’s rare when I pick both feet during the same week. I don’t know, it’s a weird habit.. I was surprised to see so many people like us! Anddd a name for the skin picking habit to top it off!
Good luck
17/03/2011 at 2:16 PM Permalink
Hi Jane,
thank you for sharing the pictures. I never have had the courage to ask someone to make photos of my feet in picked mood.
you didn’t have hided them to your family while picking? i try to do
do you have made more pics of the picked feet the last years over?
Greets Laura
25/04/2011 at 6:39 PM Permalink
Your story is truly inspiring. I have been picking my feet for several years. Sitting to read or watch tv is the worst time for me. I am trying to follow your suggestion and gain control over this problem! Summer time gets me motivated, being that I will be getting the flip flops out. I am also married to a foot fetishist, so I really feel horrible about my picking.
28/04/2011 at 10:49 PM Permalink
Wow. I just finally heard of this compulsion, I didn’t know what to call it. But I’ve got it. I usually pick for a bit, stop before it starts to bleed, then let my feet heal. But it’s hard to keep from picking at them, sometimes.
I used to have a really bad habit of it, I would pick and pick until my feet were bleeding and swollen. And then, yes, sometimes it was hard to walk around! Very embarrassing.
I think it all started about 5 years ago, when for some strange reason I started chewing on my fingertips. I did it so much that I chipped my front teeth, and had to get them fixed. Eventually, I transferred from chewing my fingers, to picking at my feet.
Now I keep a small container of rice nearby, so that my fingers have something to play with. Sounds weird, but just rolling some rice through my fingertips can be very soothing. Once in a while, when I’m watching tv, I forget and start picking my feet again. Argh.
Thanks for posting this, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.
29/05/2011 at 9:47 PM Permalink
You are such a courageous person and so inspiring! I can’t imagine ever having the courage to share myself as openly as you have. Thank you so much for this!! I will try to share what I can handle tonight: I CAN say that I’m 45 and part of a family that really suffers from OCD, in various forms. I am a serious picker all over, for all of my life. But I still don’t share the depth of my behavior, shame, regret, or pain. I admitted I had a problem to my 8 year old son for the first time tonight, and he said “I know Mom” and hugged me. I don’t know how I thought he didn’t know. He’s never known me any other way. I’m a real mess of scars, scabs, infections, the works. I’ve finally figured out that my “secret” can’t possibly be a secret. For the first time, I’m convinced that others figured it out long ago. I wear only long clothes and hide myself like crazy– always have. Last wore a swimsuit when I was 28, and I was ALONE at the pool. What brought me here tonight was the physical pain that I’ve inflicted on myself again. I’m really tired of it. I’m so glad you’ve made such progress. If you find yourself repeating things in the future you will have this success to look back on, and your incredible courage. I know you’ll heal again. Sharing photos takes more strength than I think I could ever muster! I took some digital photos tonight and couldn’t face myself. I deleted them. In the meantime, for other sufferers out there: I have found that Bactine with pain reliever has helped me manage numerous infections and a lot of pain. I hope that will help someone. Maybe that can be my small contribution here. Your courage to share will be inspirational to so many. Best wishes and THANK YOU.
16/06/2011 at 12:07 PM Permalink
I don’t feel so alone after hearing your story and others comments. Honestly the pictures did it best, very brave of you.I started picking scabs as a kid, then my scalp throughout college and now I have been picking my feet for 6 years and NEVER did it occur to me that it could be OCD. I have been able to stop before but only a couple of weeks at most, and its becoming harder to ease up and impossible to stop. Im getting scared because recently I sometimes get tingling and numbness of the bottom of my foot and am scared there is nerve damage. I have dug down to sticky flesh and my skin is turning purpleish. I will try your suggestions, and possibly seek some other form of outside help or inspiration. Thank you for helping me not fee so alone and ashamed.
17/06/2011 at 7:45 PM Permalink
Hi Jane,
thank you so much for posting this. I didn’t even know this existed as I am currently suffering from the same problem. I was wondering how long it took for your feet to heal?
01/09/2011 at 9:10 PM Permalink
Thank god I’m not the only one with this problem! Your pictures give me hope. I just had a major picking session on my right foot. I used to do both feet but managed to let my left foot heal back to normal. Socks here I come!
15/09/2011 at 2:59 AM Permalink
I guess I am an OCD type person. When I was 12 I started picking my hair. To the point I was almost bald. A 12 year old sixth grade girl…..I was upset after the family moved, I guess thats where it started. And the new school….well, we all know kids can be cruel. The torment only amplified the behavior. I seriously remember at one point wishing I were dead. Anyway, I finally found MY cure for it. I swore to God, Himself, that I would never do it again. That made it simply impossible to do anymore. I am now 48 and have not picked my hair once since. I went on to smoking, though at age 15. In 2002, I was up to 3 packs a day. After years of trying everything to quit, hypnosis, patch, gum, meds, acupuncture, I finally bit the bullet and swore solemnly, in Church, to God Himself, that I would never smoke again. Which made it virtually impossible for me to do again. And I never did again, not once. Then, a few years ago I found myself picking my feet. And eating the skin. Which horrified my son when he saw me. So, I swore I would never eat the skin again. And I did not. And quit picking. But, since I had only sworn to God to not EAT the skin, I started picking again here recently. Limping, bleeding, just sick with myself. Today, I swore to God, in Church, to never pick my feet again. So I know I won’t. But I am also going to see my family doc to get on some kind of anti-anxiety meds, because I am sure that is where this is coming from. I know I won’t pick my feet again but am pretty sure I will wind up finding some other thing to pick at in the future.
And I will have to swear to quit THAT as well. If anyone has found a good anti anxiety medication that has helped them conquer the urge to self mutilate, please share it here. Peace…..
26/10/2011 at 10:45 PM Permalink
So… exactly HOW did you stop picking your feet? My 10 year old son does this, too, and his foot (he picks only his right foot) is so severely damaged he limps on it. I took him to the pediatrician who referred him to a counselor or psychologist (sweet child is also prohibitiely claustrophobic and refuses elevators and closed doors – even the bathroom door must stay cracked open), but my husband refuses to allow me to take him to a counselor or psychologist/psychiatrist. My brother has severe OCD/Tourette’s and sadly was undiagnosed until he was an adult, suffering terribly at the teasing of his peers. As an adult he has finally found relief for his symptoms through medication and says he feels normal for the first time in his life. I am afraid my son will also have unnecessary difficulty growing up unless he gets the proper help. What do I do? My sweet son says he needs and wants help. He is unable to be in any room with the door closed, etc. but his foot is his iggest problem. He is a gifted athlete and limping on his foot does not bode well for his position as quarterback or first string soccer player and sets him up for a compensatory injury as well. Please give me some solid advice!
27/10/2011 at 1:04 PM Permalink
Hi Libby. Sadly, I don’t have a clear answer on how to “cure” yourself of this debilitating “condition”. I think like any kind of addiction, it’s a life long battle. I don’t believe that any kind of medication will cure it and I’m not sure a psychologist could help. Possibly a hypnotist but I can’t be sure.
I’ve started up again on my right foot again for the past couple of weeks now and although it’s not bad to where I can’t walk like before, I have no doubt that it could get there.
When I had quite last time, it took a lot of mental and physical restraint to keep myself from picking as well as a lot of moisturizing and sanding down with a pumice stone and ped egg. Part of the satisfaction of picking is due to the extreme itchiness when it heels but also the constant attempts to smoothen out the skin…which is impossible when you pick but you still do it.
So, I’m sorry I don’t have a clear cut answer for you. For me, it was just a determined decision and follow-thru to just make myself stop picking. I’m going to have to buck up and do it again, I think, before I get to the point of limping again.
08/11/2011 at 12:45 AM Permalink
Hi Jane,
do you think there is a generally higher risk to pick again in winter-time?
For me, in summertime i’m more concentrated to avoid it, because there is a higher risk, that someone can see the mess and i’m ashamed to let people see it outside my family. In Winter there are socks and boots always on and i can pick without be ashamed. Its a bit like treasure a hidden secret.
22/11/2011 at 3:21 AM Permalink
Definitely a higher risk in the winter for me cause that’s when my feet get really dry and crack. I’m totally starting to peel again. Sigh…So far, right heel only. So far…Again proving to be a lifelong dilemma.
12/12/2011 at 5:05 PM Permalink
I have been a picker for over 30 years. I didn’t know what to call the horrible things I did to myself until my uncle asked me was I a “picker” too? There are a few people on my fathers side that pick. I hate it so much, I’m not sure if my kids know, but their dad does and we’ve never discussed it the 25 years we’ve been together. He just don’t mention it, but he hates to hear me pick so I don’t do it around him. I’ve gotten so bad I pick the side of my feet when I am away from home and while I drive. I have picked all the way pass my ankle bone and heels because those are the places where I can reach skin while I have on short socks and shoes………..I use to eat the skin off the palm of my hands now it’s just my thumbs, so some where in there I improved but my feet are paying the price they are horrible to look at. I am so tired of hiding this but I know I need to get some help for this, I’m close now than ever because I at least know I have a problem
30/12/2011 at 2:24 PM Permalink
Okay fellow feet pickers. I regret to inform everyone that I have resorted to picking again. Just one foot but it’s looking really bad. Ugh. Yes, this is a lifelong condition that I believe to be incurable…just something you live with, like if you were an Alcoholic. At least, there doesn’t seem to be a cure. That being said, I’ve relapsed. Will do a post soon and send an update.
07/01/2012 at 2:43 AM Permalink
Must look strange.. one foot healed and one as a living relief
Like to sent a photo of them to my email adress?
Dont lose hope, my mom picked from age 5-47, a lot of failed tries to stop and then finally stopped picking for ever.
Laura
15/01/2012 at 4:55 PM Permalink
Well, it is dissappointing to say that I have relapsed and have started picking again. Will post a story at some point when I’m not so sick of myself. Yes, like eating disorders, alcoholism, I believe this is a lifelong battle.
18/01/2012 at 10:13 PM Permalink
Pure Aloe…everytime the urge surfaces…concentrating on the ‘magic’ in the aloe working from within. Get the clear stuff in a bottle, or better yet…grow a plant, slice a bit off the leaf, break up the get a bit and it will flow.
26/01/2012 at 12:39 AM Permalink
This certainly is a lifelong, on-and-off condition. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. What helps is to keep the skin proactively smooth so no compulsion to “tidy up your feet” occurs from touching them. I use enough urea to fertilize a whole chines province, but oils and fatty creams do not help much on my feet.
What to me is rather disturbing is that, in order to stop for some time, I just have to google for pictures of dreadful foot conditions. Not your garden variety bunions, but diabetic feet, verrucae, rotationplasty, ulcus cruris, whatever. It seems I am breeding an artificial disgust of feet and fear for my feet, but whenever I see just how sick feet can become, I take better care of them. All impressions fade after a time, of course, and then I start looking at new horror pictures.
The problem is that my feet have become very pain sensitive since I started looking at such pictures (all in my head, of course – some sort of foot hypochondria), and tend to hurt in strange places. So I’m left with the question which is the more unhealthy habit – picking or nursing this feet hypochondria in order not to pick?
18/02/2012 at 5:33 AM Permalink
OMG…. i pick my feet all the time. (i am 14) i pick them in bed, at the movies, on the coach, ANYWHERE!! None of my other friends do it so i thought i was weird but thank you so much for posting your story. I am trying to stop but once they get a bit better i start to pick again and again till one day i realized i have been picking for 2 whole hours and there was dead skin everywhere!!! do u hvae any tips that can help me stop?? Please i want to be able to wear flip flops again and not wear socks all the time cause my feet hurt that much
please help
23/02/2012 at 11:08 PM Permalink
Alright guys. I’m sad to report that I’ve relapsed and finally have gotten around to posting an update on it. Here’s the link (and with graphic, gross pictures):
http://janeanddick.com/random-stuff/ive-fallen-off-the-wagon-plantars-wart-prompts-my-relapse-into-feet-picking-again/#content
27/04/2012 at 1:41 AM Permalink
I urge all of you to do a search on PANDA’s and Strep. I am in the process of curing my son with Olive leaf extract and elderberry and garlic and nightly probiotics with tremendous success.