You may or may not know that I am the one who takes care of the yard work in our family. Yes, I’m the “yard boy” or if you live out in California, I’m the “gardener“. Either way, I mow the grass, weedwack, edge, and leaf blow. It takes me about 2.5 hours to do my 1+ acre yard the way I like it. Ok, I’m anal about the yard. I like it to look neat and pristine, hence I do not let Dick cut the grass…not that he would volunteer to do it anyway.

So, yardwork is for me what the gym is for others. Only, I don’t try to look all cute and socialize with passersby. I’m usually grimy, dirty, sweaty and covered with bits of grass. I know, it’s super attractive. Seems as though seeing a sweaty, grass-covered Asian woman riding a big lawn mower is enough to make these guy rubberneck like they saw a woman in a bikini or something. No, I’m not out there in my bikini. Although I am on a riding lawn mower, I get plenty of exercise. The arms is where all the work is…weedwacking will tone those biceps and triceps like none other! Just remember to keep switching arms so you don’t look like “Ah-nald” on the one arm and NOT on the other.

I’m flexing as much as I can. Can you see my muscle? Can you see it? Can you see it?

One of the risks of the job? Falling branches. With all the rain lately, I’m worried one of these babies is going to knock me out of existence. Not really a great way to die. ”Woman dies cutting grass when tree branch falls on her” is not exactly the way I want to go.

Don’t you hate it when you’re all ready to get started on something and realize that there is a critical element that you’re missing? Off to get some gas!

So I’ve bought my gas, now let’s get started. But wait, the dang weed wacker won’t start. Oh yeah, it’s because my arm is so weak from the swine flu that I can’t pull the starter cord. I’m feeling like quite the weakling loser because I can’t get the weed wacker started. Luckily, my nice neighbor comes to the rescue and I’m finally able to start.

The backyard is looking totally ghetto and unappealing until I put my magic weed-wacker-wand on it.

Since I don’t have a bagger (which I need to get), I use my mower to push all the grass remnants to my driveway.

After the entire yard is done, I blow the grass remnants into a big pile so that I can then scoop it up and put it out with the rest of my trash.

Holy moly, macaroni. It’s been a while since I’ve exerted myself. I think my arms are going to fall off. No matter, it’s WELL worth it having a nicely groomed yard.

Time to relax and enjoy the view now.

-Jane, Lawn Girl

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