In our house, red wine goes really well with cooking. Sometimes Dick will cook for us (excitement!) …when he’s craving Persian kabob that is. Therefore, every once in a while, I get the pleasure of having my hunka-hunka burnin’ love (Thanks Sharon O.) cook for me. Unfortunately, when Dick cooks…I still end up being an assistant.

You’re probably thinking of the kind of kabob that goes on skewers and are grilled.  This is not that kind. Here is Dick’s recipe for making at home, in a saucepan, ground beef, Persian kabob.

STEP 1. WHERE’S THE BEEF?

(No, I’m not referring to Dick.)

WARNING!

WHEN PLACING MEAT IN A BOWL,  MAKE SURE ALL OF IT IS IN THE BOWL!!

Dick takes the 2.5 pounds of Organic Ground Beef Sirloin and puts in in a large mixing bowl. Don’t you love how Dick plopped it (yes, PLOPPED) ever so carefully in the bowl, sitting on it’s side? Well, it’s head had a most unfortunate accident when it became detached fell to the ground. MAN OVERBOARD! Oh how we got a good laugh out of this one. Cooking with men is such fun. A great start we’re having…

STEP 2: COOKING CAN MAKE YOU CRY.

I have been put in charge with pureeing the onions. Dice them and puree them in your mini-food processor. An assistant’s job is so glamorous. The aroma from the pureed onions burns my eyes and they’re watering like crazy. The one negative that comes from having Lasik eye surgery done on your eyes is that you are no longer immune from crying due to onions. I guess contact lenses have that added protective layer.

STEP 3: ADD THE ONION TO THE BEEF.

STEP 4:  GET DIRTY. MASSAGE IT.

Dick has naturally great vision and therefore is also not immune from crying due to onions.

SOME DIALOGUE:

Dick asks me to dice some garlic to add to the meat. This is not usually what it calls for but you can add garlic for more flavor. I forget and he then asks me later again.

Dick:

“Can you get me some garlic now?”

Me:

“You want more?’”

Dick. (Laughing hysterically because he knows, I know, I didn’t.)

“You never gave me any in the first place.”

Me. (Grudgingly. Why can’t da mens do anything on their own?)

“O…k… I hate dicing garlic.”

Ok, so after you’re done having fun with the meat. It should be a sticky consistency (not falling apart) and look like this:

STEP 5:  PATTIES IN THE PAN.

STEP 6:  ADD TOMATOS.

YOGURT.

If you’re not used to Persian food then you would probably think that having yogurt with your meal is…well, weird! But, I assure you it’s quite tasty. Here are simple directions for a yummy plain yogurt with diced cucumbers…a.k.a. Mast-o-kiar. Thelma and Louise LOVE plain yogurt, especially this kind with cucumbers!!

MAKE RICE TO ACCOMPANY THE MEAL. (Kateh Style)

Kateh style Persian Basmatic rice is an easy way to make rice and have it come out looking like a cake. The top is super-crunchy and delicious. I don’t have the recipe here but will try to post it later.

THE FINAL RESULT???

Looks good right? It actually tastes awesome. Sometimes is better than never. Thanks love!!

-Jane, Dick’s Cooking Assistant