Jane self portraits.

Jane — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:11:47 +0000

Unless I take pictures of myself, I would never have any. Now you know why most pictures of me have one arm extended and half of my face is lopped off. Of course, Dick says it’s because my head is so big and only half of it would fit on the camera. Such the comedian he is.

Dick and the girls have literally THOUSANDS of pictures of them. I often wonder if the kids will remember that I was there too!

Since I’m a do-it-yourself girl, I take it upon myself to see if I can take some self portraits. These are taken using the camera installed on my iMac so the resolution is poor and the lighting is a problem.

Due to the immense rain that we continue to get here in Metropolis, the fuse for the ceiling lights in all my bedrooms and office has short circuited. Now I’m waiting for Dick to fix it ’cause ain’t no way this Jane is going down in that damp, dark, creepy crawl space to fix anything!

See? I’m resourceful.

-Jane, Resourceful Photographer.

That effing wire is a death trap!!!

Jane — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:06:09 +0000

My sister, Lucy Lu, is in town for her birthday and her boyfriend, Ricky Ricardo, is joining us as well. Lucy is my bestest friend and I love her dearly. Lucy and I have this thing where we speak in different accents all the time. Sometimes Chinese, sometimes Mexican, German, Japanese, British, Indian, Black or a combination of several…but never Vietnamese…or Australian. Those are too hard to mimic.

That reminds me, if you haven’t seen the comedian Anjela Johnson and her comedic act, “Nail Salon”, click HERE. You MUST see this if you have not already. Angela is Latino and she does a perfect impression of a Vietnamese nail salon technician that will have you rollin’ and cryin’!

Back to Lucy. She’s staying at my mom’s house for the night and I get this text from her.

“That effing wire is a death trap!!!”

-Lucy Lu

“Wire?”

-Jane (It’s 2am and I have no idea what she’s talking about.)

“That stupid wire that sits above the gate!”

-Lucy Lu

Actually, I know this wire well. It is placed above a gate where you enter to get into my parent’s kitchen. One has to step over (not walk thru) this gate to get to the other side.

This is because the dogs (FeFe and Rambo) are only allowed to be in the kitchen and outdoors…NOT IN THE HOUSE. Fanny Mae does not want pet hair and foulness all up in her crib! Rambo doesn’t dare cross over but FeFe is an excited, hyper pup that seeks freedom beyond the kitchen.

So, Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac “remedied” it by adding this wire above the existing gate to keep her from hurdling the gate. It pretty much works…

Only the adults in our house are used to the old height of the gate, and one often forgets that this damn wire is there and you find yourself hurling over it! Lucy Lu is absolutely correct in calling it a “death trap”. I fear for Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac as they are not getting any younger but it seems that just us sisters and no one else is having this problem.

The other day, I was at my parent’s house to have some Pho. Pho is a traditional, SUPER-yummy, beef broth noodle soup. I don’t watch TV hardly but on this day, like Freddie Mac, I wanted enjoy dinner in front of the TV. So I decide to transport my hot soupy bowl of Pho with me over the death trap. As I was stepping over the gate carrying my hot Pho, me and my toe sweepers totally forget about this crazy wire and DAMMIT!! Hot Pho spillage!

So I’m dying laughing at Lucy Lu’s text because I know EXACTLY what she’s talking about and have experienced it first hand.

“Lmao! Jes. I know zis well. I burnt me-self tripping over it whilst carrying my pho and tripping over zat same damned wire! Me no likes.”

-Jane, (Meant to be broken Mexican/Irish? Accent)

“No!! I have wire burn on me toes now!”

-Lucy Lu

“So sorry yo. Might I suggest u wear socks next time so ur toes don’t get caught between the wire thereby tripping you. “

-Jane, (Meant with British Accent. The “yo” part is an exclamation! in Japanese.

It gives that added emphasis, yo!)

Apparently, the death wire scraped along her foot as she was crossing and has given her wire-burn. I found this story completely hilarious as there is now someone else who understands my pain!

-Jane, Lucy Lu’s Somewhat-Sympathetic Sister

Fun with Jane & Dick » Lucy Lu

Jane self portraits.

That effing wire is a death trap!!!